Going To Change

I hav lost my sense some time dont know when i can get back to my own real life...
Is that the people around me make me this changes or the environment i facing everyday, i think i alwaz ask my ownself until solution not even really come out yet.
Some of the thing i dont know really correct or not that i have decide and i know that no body can help me to solve this problem also. Should i accept the fact or should i think until the answer really come out in my mind. haiz......really headache and scared the conclusion that will be facing soon.
I really lost of direction of life, IS THERE ANY BODY CAN HELP ME ???

New Change For My Life

I dont knw why some time i feel myself like a different person and some time still immatured.

I knw many thing had happen to me for this 3 years time but i still facing it by keep on changing myself and be though for it .....i dnt knw why some of the time i can face all this problem even though all the problem can make me become psycho but i hope i can do my best and dnt show it in front of anyone

When i think back what problem and what the thing i had done, i really hope the time return bck and i want to change it all from the beginning. I know that are stupid thinking and fantasy even many people still thinking that. My life really have ruin out by so many people until i feel want to give up to this kind of life.....i sit back and think of myself and my family and also my frenz that they all are still standing behind me and support me ...i knw i dnt hav a true frenz but i still treat them as my close frenz. Last time when childhood like to fight with parents if i dnt agree what they said and what they do for me, but now i think they do all that are good for me and i really regrets what i fight bck to them.....i really LOVE THEM SO MUCH

I got a lot of thing need to said it but i think it will take a long time so i decide wont state it anymore just be as my memory in mind. I think this is the time to change my mind to set a new goal and face the coming life, because i cant change the pass so i should face the present time.... :)

All the that need to start from beginning may be hard for me but i will keep trying and going on with it, so i try my best to do it a new way and be a new person that i want to be now. No matter how hard i will face all kind of problem that will come to me, i will stand strong to continue facing the new progress.....cheers myself up and GAMBATEH !!! I CAN DO IT :)

Suck of My Life

i already tired for all this keep on turning on ..in my life
when all this can be stop ,so that i have a most memorable life
even i want all this to be change but still come bck to me the same thing
i already dnt knw how to see a personality of others becoz of all this

An Elephant & A Mouse Story (new edition)

If u really want to have a real WAR then u hav to come to me ...not me to come to admit all this....all this is your want to knw about and not me to face a stupid and fucking u are .....(elephant & mouse)

I also admit myself have the wrong in many things....but u're more wrong becoz didnt change yourself after people have said the truth of u

If i'm a bitch and wat u are ....u are such a CHILDISH person, fucking FAKER'S that no1 knw about it but i knw many thing about u .....just i didnt said it out yet, if u really want me to list down ...i will do it happily and write in a long list for u to see wat the truth that had happen behind u and u had blindly happy go lucky

i will list it down that wat i knw as below:

Elephant said: that 'mouse' skinny until no boobs.....and like to show off many guy
pic that she hav and dnt knw whether she saying the truth or just
copy and paste from others place to showing off that she are
attracted by guy ....

Mouse said : why suddenly that 'elephant' be nice to u(1 person).....the body
already so big size and no wonder got no guy like her ...she so
irritating....why she like alwaz dnt hav money until borrow other
people money....

Mouse actually is the PRETENDER & BACK STABBER even to her best frenz

One day , 1 of the pig walk pass by to the forest and over heard all the conversation that animal are talking and this PIG were so BIG MOUTH and wanted to share all the 'good news' regarding the conversation of the animal was talking behind that Elephant & Mouse ....

the PIG was so happy becoz of this news and she can become so popular among her frenz

The animal from the forest wanted to react as innocent so they started to build up their own theories and they blame the peacock's for being pretender whereby actually in their heart they knw truly that they are the REAL BITCH AND SLUT!!!!!!!!!!

FreaKing CraZy

Time getting longer i like dont know who am i now ........
like a bird that lost of direction until sometime want to return bck to the pass time
i know time cant be turn back
Izit i already crazy or too bored until like to think too much
could anybody that really can help this lost bird????

Actually i want to talk with some1 that i really hurt last time but i already not brave enough to face it and dnt knw wat to do
but in my heart got many word want to said about it
should i said it or not ??
all this thing alwaz appear in my mind and sometime i can become crazy until like psycho person

i think i try to said some here
actually what i said on that day on phone not all is true
some i had cheated it
just u dnt knw about it
becoz i want u do concentrate on something
and i also want to try to think bck many thing thats why i said like that to u
At here i want to said "so sorry ....sorry and pls forgive what i do to u "
i dnt knw wat to do already i just can said all these here
But what u hav said to me everything i already forgive about it
I knw every people also got their own bad attitude and characteristics
that day i make u and talk like that to u
until i think many month only i find out what i really wrong on

if u see this blog and want to know more deeply u can msg me
but dnt call me becoz when i on the phone i cant even talk a word
i will be like wood and dnt knw wat to said
if u didnt reply me all anything
i will understand that, and i didnt expect what u will do after read this blog
But i just feel more comfortable when i said it out
if not i will alwaz thinking it everyday

Really hope u can forgive it, i dnt want people to be hated me like that

really crazy and angry

wat kind of thing i do that no 1 like me
i hate people that dnt knw everything and didnt know about me
and said something that not nice to hear
u thought i'm wat your enemy or your object to fuck of everytime

if u dnt knw about me dnt said too much
actually u wrong
u more disgusting and more ugliest things that i never ever seen it before
a people like u wont hav a real frenz for so long
pls i advice u go and see yourself in front of a mirror
wat a person u are
then only said other people
not all also like to follow wat u want
if u want a person follow wat u said then better u buy a robot at home and use it as wat u like it to be

THIS YEAR THINGS CAN HAPPEN REALLY ALL DIFFERENTLY

i already long time didnt write my blog.....may be this time i will write it long until no 1 want to read also
i dnt knw why others people can write so many for everyday
but for me not everyday things will happen so special all in the same routine
i already hate to be in the same routine for everyday
nothing i can do to make it interesting to my life
i like to dance but there no time for me to take any classes of dance
my time all is too pack for this nursing course
i scared may be 1 day i will become crazy by study this course
i like a freedom and enjoying lifestyle
but becoz of my parents want me to take this course i cant hav any freedom at all like others having now

sometime i think why god didnt giv me a nice decision for me to hav a beautiful life i want it my own
but i understand why god make all this to me
i hav to work hard to hav wat i really dream of all the things i want

the last half year i really use to much of time to play alot
this new half year i want to change myself
to be hardworking and also can play at the same time
hope i can do it ....

the last half year all things happen in a sudden i also cant expect why all this thing happen
sometime i think back all this situation i really upset and sometime happy
but mostly not happy at all
no1 will know about it
i like to keep in my heart
and everyday bring a smile on my face
i like forcing myself by doing all that
but all this make me grow up
if not i also dnt knw myself is wat kind of person and personality i having
i really hope i can hav a new and nice life going on after this
i dnt want alwaz be carrying all stress and sadness
it really heavy by carrying all those with me
but sometime i cant control myself to think bck all those
sometime i really want to be alone and cooldown myself

dnt knw why i cant continue to write
really hard for me to express my own word
no 1 can understand me
it like a really challenging game for me in this life