SAD

i dont like this kind of treatment to all the patient
i cant accept it but i dont know why some of them can do it like that

today i got to sponging one of the patient in HDU, my clinical instructor bring us to there to do the procedure
becoz she want us to practice more so i and my frenz go in there n saw so many old age patient they hav so many tube on their body
i saw it also feel sad to them
they cant move n talk so restless i look at their face i also dont know what should i do to make them can be wake up and walk out from that ward. CI want us to prepare all the things that need to sponging, after finish prepare then i start to do the procedure that time CI walk out so i continue to do.

i started to talk with the patient that what i will do to her, the patient didnt said any thing but she open her eye a while when i talk to her that she is giving respone to me i so happy then i do the procedure gently to her becoz she is so skinny and weak. every thing that i do i will talk to her i know she can listen what i talk to her but she cant say it only, she can giv some response that she can open her eye a little. when i want to sponging her abdomen part n back part but CI suddenly come and see she said i do the procedure too gentle then she take the towel n she do it for us but she do it so 'kasar' didnt care about patient feeling how.
i saw CI do like that then i think myself 'if i was the patient i will dont like they do that on me like this i will complain n scold them' i can see the patient expression that she is in pain but CI still do it like that.
i just follow CI instruction to do it cant disobey or disagree what she do
when i saw CI do like that i feel sad to the patient also feel like crying but we cant do anything if CI need that
i just wait that CI walk out faster then i can help the patient but then CI still there i see the patient is so painful
i want to cry ......
but no choice i must hold my tears
hope that patient can get well faster