Problem That Suddenly Falls On Me

today i really so tired until want to faint somemore not enough sleep
when staff nurse giv report i felt sleepy and don't know what i writing just like the whole mind not at that environment
after the report then i go with senior to do our things
i and faster finish our things then can take a short break
we go to have our breakfast when i order 'syrup' the worker there give me 'coffee'
i cant drink coffee start from form 2 but the worker already give it so i just take it
then i sit down and eat, when finish i continue my work to do observation .

after finish all observation then our CI want us to practice some procedure that time i start my gastric paint but just a little so i just ignore it just continue my practice
today have many new admission i take over all the new admission with 1 senior
i learning from senior how to give all the orientation to client and help senior
starting that time i busy until all my friends go for lunch i still doing my work
but i not hungry just gastric paint because already drink the coffee the effect come
after i finish my work they say who didnt go for rest then can go but i not going because i still need to follow senior to do other things, i want to learn from senior so i just withstand all the paint and continue work

when somebody said HR want all morning shift student go to meeting at CI room so i and my friends rush to the meeting because already late
that time i really want to faint ler
but i still rush to the meeting, half way the HR talk someone call then they answer the call and ask who have taken thermometer then everyone check their pocket but i didnt check because that i suffering my paint
then they give feedback nobody taking that thermometer
but after HR finish answer the call i heard God saying something to me
like saying there have something in my pocket so i just check it then i saw that thermometer in my pocket then i faster rush back to wad and return back
i rush the whole way then 1 of the senior look angry and said 'next time before leave the wad must check properly ' that i was breathless and gastric paint so i just ignore her
i know that senior many people dont like her so just take it what she said
another senior saw i was suffering gastric paint so she ask me go to eat something but i still need to rush back to meeting so i just rush back without eat

after the meeting i go to take the bus to go back to hostel
in the meeting i almost faint but i still can 'tahan'


a day that many thing happen on me
i pray to God to help me to release all the thing happen on me from my mind i dont want to think back it make me sad only

today i call my mom and say many thing that have happen
she also ask to go back when have holiday
but i just have 1 day holiday if i go back i will be tired by going back and come back on the same day, so i didnt go back but i really miss my home there no stress and live more comfortable
when talking with my mom i already want to cry but i always cry in front of her
i like to keep it in my heart.....

SIMPLE

this few day was so sien la
dont know what can do just alwaz sit , sleep , and etc..
alwaz not enough sleep.

Other than that i feel many things already have a lot of changes just in this few month
why this generation people can change their attitude or personal behavior so fast like a rocket
hiaz.....
dont know what make them change to become like that
for me a simple life is enough n didnt have many things happen on me
later i will become like them
because my motto is BE HAPPY ALL THE THINGS WILL BE ALRIGHT
thats why if i sad i also will make myself to be happy
dont want to look sad in front of people
when i like that mostly of my friends said that i didnt hav any stress or things happen just stay a happy life, they thing i'm have a better life than them
actualy i hav more sad things happen than they all
they dont know because i wont say it out to everyone just keep in the heart
when i realy can withstand only i will said some to my really close frenz then i will feel better
all my frenz like to talk their problem to me, then i will give some advice or the way to solve it to them but when i have problem i dont know want to find who and said it to who.......

i dont know why i can feel what people thinking
thats make me feel so surprise and so suddenly before that i didnt have this kind of feeling

SAD

i dont like this kind of treatment to all the patient
i cant accept it but i dont know why some of them can do it like that

today i got to sponging one of the patient in HDU, my clinical instructor bring us to there to do the procedure
becoz she want us to practice more so i and my frenz go in there n saw so many old age patient they hav so many tube on their body
i saw it also feel sad to them
they cant move n talk so restless i look at their face i also dont know what should i do to make them can be wake up and walk out from that ward. CI want us to prepare all the things that need to sponging, after finish prepare then i start to do the procedure that time CI walk out so i continue to do.

i started to talk with the patient that what i will do to her, the patient didnt said any thing but she open her eye a while when i talk to her that she is giving respone to me i so happy then i do the procedure gently to her becoz she is so skinny and weak. every thing that i do i will talk to her i know she can listen what i talk to her but she cant say it only, she can giv some response that she can open her eye a little. when i want to sponging her abdomen part n back part but CI suddenly come and see she said i do the procedure too gentle then she take the towel n she do it for us but she do it so 'kasar' didnt care about patient feeling how.
i saw CI do like that then i think myself 'if i was the patient i will dont like they do that on me like this i will complain n scold them' i can see the patient expression that she is in pain but CI still do it like that.
i just follow CI instruction to do it cant disobey or disagree what she do
when i saw CI do like that i feel sad to the patient also feel like crying but we cant do anything if CI need that
i just wait that CI walk out faster then i can help the patient but then CI still there i see the patient is so painful
i want to cry ......
but no choice i must hold my tears
hope that patient can get well faster

more confident

today i learn more thing in the hospital
i so happy with that, this week i get this CI is my benefit lo
she also help me a lot n if i do wrong she will giv some advice then i can knw my negative at where
2mrw i hav to take cross frm CI but CI told us early that she will asked us what kind of thing giv

Today i talk chinese with chinese patient most of them also thought me a malay girl
when i talk in chinese then they will knw i'm a chinese girl
some also get shocked that i can speak chinese

i do afternoon shift today, about 9pm one of the patient need to go to ICU
the patient parents is so many, the patient was talk to a phone that call frm USA
i can see his face so happy n anxiety too
before he will send to ICU
after the patient went out frm the room his family walk in to his bed n packed something to bring back to wash...
when i walk pass by the room i saw his relative was crying becoz scared the operation will ok or not....when i saw that i hav the heart want to pray for them also
pray for the patient will safe in his operation
hope 2mrw i go to ward i can heard good news from him la....
god bless him

day in hospital

nw is the 2nd week of posting in hospital
i feel ok nw the 1st i went to hospital i feel scared and anxiety
i dont know how to communicate with patients
my clinical instructor said i need more practice in communicate
she said me too quiet
i know myself is like that
so i need sometime to change myself
i nw start trying to communicate with patient
some patient also talk with me like frenz
i'm so happy with that but work in hospital was so tired n lost more energy
i didnt like to sleep at afternoon but nw becoz too tired i like to sleep in the afternoon if morning shift, i misssed all my frenz in ipoh
i want to go back to visit them but still hav long time to wait
i missed them so much